January 25, 2016
If I had been born a thousand years ago, I would’ve certainly been in the traveling circus.
Not because it’s my long-lost dream to become a circus performer, but because bone and fossil records indicate that humans in those times were just a fraction of the size we are today, and I would’ve been so much larger than everyone else, a veritable giant.
Rumors would’ve spread far and wide of the colossus standing nearly 6 feet tall, weighing an astonishing 200 pounds, and a great many of these ancient peoples would’ve paid good money just to catch a glimpse of my enormity.
Alas, the novelty of my size would’ve eventually worn off, and, in an effort to boost attendance, the circus owners would’ve asked me to fight a bear, and that is, in all likelihood, how I would’ve met my unfortunate end.